Tuesday, July 1, 2008

What is parenthood? What is parenting under the facade of "shared custody"?

Of course the answer to this question is subjective. Every person will provide a unique response based the their own ideology, religion, spirituality, background, etc.
Being a parent is not easy, being a parent who has to share custody with another person who is not in sync with you when it comes to parenting is extremely difficult. My daughter (my youngest) is going to be 9 soon, which means (technically) 9 more years of dealing with their father. He is an irresponsible, selfish, conniving, manipulative person who tries to belittle me at every turn. I'm fed up with the BS, I really am. I can be a real b*%@# sometimes and today I fired back with a cutting response to his derogatory comments. The rational part of me knew that I was only lowering myself to his level but sometimes I just get completely fed up with his crap.
He and I got into it today because when I called to speak to my son (just turned 10) he told me that he was playing outside. I said he better be watching him (my ex does not live in the best of neighborhoods). He snapped back that I didn't need to presume anything, well, obviously I gathered from his statement that he was inside while my son was outside.
There are some realities of parenthood that everyone must face and deal with appropriately irregardless of class, income, "race," neighborhood. We live in a world where children are seen as prey by certain sick, unhealthy individuals. And the reality is children have to be supervised in their activities, even when they are 10 or 11. We don't live in a world where you can just tell your kids to go play outside and expect everything to be "peachy." Maybe if you have a huge yard and a couple of well-trained German Shepherds, maybe then, yeah. But most families don't have that luxury.
And I'm not being pessimistic, I'm being realistic. Because I really am an optimistic, enthusiastic person but I would rather be safe than sorry when it comes to my children's safety and well being.

1 comment:

Alisa said...

Hi , I wanted to tell you about this new book just out I paper back by Tom Sturges, who really feels strongly that all parents, single, alternative, gay, nuclear, share a lot of the same issues. When Tom was 3, he lost his father, the legendary music producer Preston Sturges. Tom has imagined what the perfect dad would be, what he would say and how, and now he’s written about it. He has come up with some wonderful and common sense ways to deal with every day problems. It’s: PARKING LOT RULES, and 75 Other Ideas for Raising Amazing Children. http://www.parkinglotrules.com/ I’d love to send you an excerpt…just let me know where.

Kind Regards,